Alter Ego.

My husband and I just watched about a testimony of a girl who just recently surrendered her life to Jesus. Her testimony is a perfect example of God's compassion and mercy. I was again in awe of God's gift of redemption and forgiveness to mankind. For her, freedom from a bottomless pit of insecurity is to let go of her "alter ego".

During her testimony, she recalled, “I felt so loved that day because I was put in hair and makeup. I was told I was beautiful. I was going to be a star. But I was drained empty...I was so robotic, I was like a rubber Barbie doll. I had no emotions...I had an alter ego.”

Today's world defines beauty by ironically showcasing themselves as "carefree individuals who doesn't mind what other people will say" but in reality, most their motive is to make themselves look cool, therefore "acceptable". 

Today's generation seems to be so willing to set aside their values and depth just to chase what they seem to see as true happiness therefore, lose their identity on "alter egos". They believe these alter egos would make them feel better. So much to get a better version of themselves by trying to re-create who they are.

Alter ego - for some, is the perfect picture of who they are.

Yes, nothing is wrong with trying to be better. However my fear is that the more we crave for perfection, the less we see ourselves dependent on God's ability to mold us into the character He wants all of us to desire. Therefore, to only God should we always have to be acceptable. 

Romans 12: 1-2 

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, ^[a]acceptable to God, which is your ^[b]spiritual service of worship. ² And do not be conformed to this ^[c]world, but be transformed by therenewing of your mind, so that you may ^[d]prove what the will of God is, that which is good and ^[e]acceptable and perfect.

Live to Tell the Tale.

Marriage will make you appreciate God more and His ability to find the person that would perfectly fit the kind of relationship He wants us to experience. 

Living with my husband for almost nine months now gave me a detailed view of how dedicated God is to align, correct, and balance my life according to His will. From unhealthy habits, dragging worries, to impractical spending; I can say that for that 9 months of being together, God was able to use my husband as an effective avenue to help me improve as a person.

There are many things I discovered along the way about his character that surprised me and made me appreciate him all the more. Here's some to enumerate:

-He is more organized at home than I am. When I met him, I never thought that he'd be more picky with colors and has the final say with house aesthetics than me. He has more preferences than me. He's good at setting standards. Never in our entire boyfriend-girlfriend relationship did I see that coming! :)

-He is a morning person, surprisingly. He would normally wake me up with a kiss on my forehead and a pot of freshly brewed coffee to start my day.

-While most of us find our uninterrupted time to read the bible in the morning or right before we sleep, PJ would normally study it in between his work breathers. He would also share his revelations already incorporated to his daily experiences that makes me remember and practice God's word better. 

-Most people think that he always say "yes" and would just go with the flow. On the contrary, he's more opinionated than how we perceive him to be. He won't give up until you fully accept his beliefs. His solutions to some problems may seem to sound absurd sometimes but his opinions never fail to come with wisdom. He has built a reputation that makes me trust and respect him on every decisions we are about to make as a young couple. 

-He is easy to be with. He appreciates good friends like brothers. He fights for relationships worth valuing. I never hear him say bad things about anyone. Even when he is tremendously upset. 

-He always remind me to be the better person no matter how hard my situation is. I admire the purity of his heart and motives. He is never arrogant nor self righteous. He never keeps scores of his life in comparison to someone else; which makes me understand how easy for him to live a life full of contentment and humility. 

-He celebrates life a lot! To him, there's no such thing as "I woke up at wrong side of the bed". 

I am so blessed to be given this wonderful gift of friendship. I am grateful for his life. 

As I look forward to more years, I can't help but praise God for working on the miracle of putting our lives together. 

I know we will live to tell this tale! :)