Arithmetic

One Sunday Hosting. :) I was asked to host the 5pm Sunday service in Ubelt. I am glad that i was able to pull myself off in making them feel comfortable. Watch this.

Whenever I feel something that could affect my mood or focus, I used to encourage myself by thinking that I will only live for A DAY.  I will only live a day, not because Im dying or something, but because I know that I will only bear with whatever it is I have today, "for A DAY!" That I would only have to battle with it (anything) until I close my eyes and sleep.  Meaning, Everything, will only last for a day.  Like the Psalmist, when He exclaimed, "This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalms 118:24 So when I feel... Pain. It'll be alright. I will sleep anyways. Tomorrow, either the feeling is gone or I am tougher. Tempted. It'll be alright. I will sleep anyways. Tomorrow, either I'm faster to flee from it, or the devil is already tired to stand me just ignoring it.  Great Want (Missing). It'll be alright. I will sleep anyways. Tomorrow, either...

The word "fasting" could sound really scary to most Christians. I myself have been guilty of being at the state of doing it as an obligation in order for me to sustain a "holier- than-thou-should-be" lifestyle before. To me, it was just merely starving myself to "ask God" for something. Or probably an act of "self-denial" so to say I could be "closer" to God and in the end "manipulate" Him to act on what I will. Until I found myself dealing with this matter from "duty to delight". Now, I could clearly define fasting as a "purposeful wait on God". Strong's Exhaustive Concordance, p. 820, says the word "purpose" means "to choose for oneself, before another thing (prefer) , i.e. (by impl.) to propose (intend)." To purpose therefore is to be "willingly pre-determined" Fasting has to do with being WILLING . Willing to HEAR from God not just to speak. Fasting has something to do ...

God, I'm Glad you have willed that our relationship may be put into another level. Thank you tht you've put my security and confidence in you and not on the things I do. THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME BEYOND REASON! --- Truly, There's nothing compared to this love that has found me. A love that's beyond reason A love that knows no record of wrong A love that is able to keep us Complete The only love that could UNDO things. The love that gives us the confidence and security . . . knowing that we are loved undividedly. The love that casts all things ASIDE. The love that we could always go BACK to. A love that cleanses and HEALS. A love that could mend a heart that FAILS. A love that could make us HUMBLE. A love that BREAKS yet MAKES US WHOLE. The same love that had made us SURRENDER. The same love that has proved us that LOOSING is GAINING. No Heights, No Depths No Power, No Love No Things NOW or TO COME Could separate US from THIS LOVE .. A Love that was demonstrated at the CRO...

As I was reading through the pages of the old love notes I've written for my lover, I found this. It is in my old journal. A promise of a eternity full of Love. Yes, again, it is Love. Date: March 15, 2006 Place: No specified Situation: Crushed and Broken For the things of this world are not the things that I am; For the power of this world is nothing compared to My might; For everything in this world is a chasing after the wind Your Name shines like Gold, more precious to me. Your Law is like a Leaf of Green I love to see; Your Hand is Full of Security, Embraces me; Your Love is Unfailing forever I will see. Though Your darkness may come forth to blind you; Still I’ll be the light to shine on you; For the world will never take Me away from you; I’ve seen you and I’ll keep you. Never will they hurt you again Forever you will be blessed Come to Me and drink My cup Be refr...

When it comes to love. We hardly find ourselves either winning or loosing. But either way, we must understand love and it's real definition. Someone told me that ¨Being in love, in a relationship, it´s just a different reality; not necessarily a better reality (compared to being alone), but just a different one.¨ I didn't agree. I still don't. Another one told me, ¨You should only be with someone, if being in love with that person makes you happier than when you are alone.¨ Words I agreed more. If I followed the words of the former, I would be easily satisfied. Because the expectations from a loving relationship would be not much different from a life alone. Unfortunately, my vision of love is closer to the latter. Hence, I'm more demanding in love. I didn't need someone to make me happy, being alone with God is satisfying enough for me. But if falling in love could make me happier; it is something I cannot control; His happiness will become more important than min...

I was once told by a friend in Boracay that to ASSUME is to associate "Ass" to "u" and "me". (Thanks Daley) Hey, please don't get me wrong. I've reposted blogs about defrauding, however, there's another thing that saddened me just this day. It's the fact that most relationships among friends are being ruined by too much assuming. Frankly, I am affected by how many friendships have been mislead by merely "assuming" things. Guys, us gurls just love to take care of everything. If you are with us, expect to be taken cared of. It's our way of expressing our very nature. Dont mind if we offer things or show our care! It could be small or big acts like giving you a glass of water to giving you gifts; whether lending you a towel to lending our unused big clothes if you are sweating; or from a simple invitation to eat out to being invited to our house if we prepared something. These things are really US. It's who we are. It's ...

I'm a...romanticist at a distance, only seeing never touching, watching thee. Time betrays me as it slays me, I exacerbate my condition. Not quite feeling, thoughts I'm stealing, dreaming thee. I arrange some possibilities, they disolve into obscurity. I'm a pilgrim in a landscape only talked about in passing, barely moving, always reaching, wanting thee. As I look at thine eyes.. Thou hath not seen my existence Lest faith turn to despair. Do I have to bleed, to make thy heart understand? Do I have to continue to suffer? Oh how would thee realize? For Thou hast life is thou lovest thee!

Faith How do I write this without breaking down, or my eyes filling with tears? *sigh* (((*thinking* - Oh my God only YOU know..."))) Ichie described me one time as a person who clings on God's leg like a kid that is sooo afraid. I know I have a lot of fear..Well, probably because I hardly take risk and that I live in this fairy land I called "Nyeism". When something tragic happens, it is incomprehensible. We cannot wrap our minds around it and we just don't understand. In our hearts & minds, we naturally ask '..WHY??'. It is during times like this, most of us or some of us struggle with our unbelief. 'The valley' challenges our faith in God. But His PEACE, that is, the Peace of God, allows us to be in a place where His love & mercy covers us, wraps us up and keeps us. It does not mean, we do not grieve or we do not cry. But there comes a point where we have to pick ourselves up...for life's sake, we MUST! It's easier s...

Some days in my quiet time with God, I find myself in conversation.....the deepest conversation. I love my mornings with the Lord because after, I always feel like I've been refreshed, assured and refuelled to go out and face the world. I find that His Word often and always edifies my spirit and I've been 'armoured up' to face whatever comes at me. In other words, I'm set for the rest of the day. I know within myself, if I haven't made that time to spend with the Lord, the rest of my day doesn't 'flow'. And boy does that show sometimes! Hey, I'm human, so I have my moments yannooo!  (Praising God for the moments! hehee*) The beauty of being in relationship with Christ and spiritually 'walking' with Him every day, is knowing He is for me when everyone is against me. It gives me peace knowing who I can put my trust in & I have come to know that when I do just that (put my trust in Jesus), His Peace surpasses the crazines...

Now, I find Life in everything. Every work I am entitled to do, I find life in it. I enjoyed my fast. Up to this last day, I feel so in love with Him. So sold out in everything about Him. “I Want To Fall In love With You” Jars of Clay In open fields of wild flowers, she breathes the air and flies away She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses in no simple language Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him Someday He'll call her and she will come running and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray, "I want to fall in love with You" Sitting silent wearing Sunday best The sermon echoes through the walls A great salvation through it calls to the people who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls He's more than the laughter o...

A lot of times we go ahead of God. We carry out His purpose in our lives with complete zeal and passion yet still feel like we miss out His purpose ending up so tired of chasing an endless void. Passion and zeal is not enough. It needs wisdom to achieve a harmonious result. Sometimes, we need to be still and at rest in order for us to be sensitive of God’s leading. It is not always a “go”. In chess, one takes time to think in order to make an offensive move. In basketball, there is what we call “time-out” to strategize. In music, we have what we call “Rest Note” in order to make a better melody. In Capoeira, there is what they call “chamada” in order for them to rest while they trick the opponent’s side. So sweet that God is also the author of Rest. That he doesn’t expect us to be always on the go. During my first day of fast, he required complete silence and stillness. He asked me to rest, and be completely broken, before he allowed Himself to move. When I surrendered my abilit...

“Time” “Time is something that you have yet you don’t have, you give it to people that matters to you” I’ve been hearing myself quoting the above phrase more often whenever I’m begging for time from people I wanted to ask time for. I noticed that I’ve wanted time and attention more often from people I wanted to earn time from, but hardly get it from them. Then I threw the question back to me and asked myself “Am I being a good steward of time?” Then slowly, I grabbed my pillow, hugged it tight and then repented of how I often neglect those people that I should spend time with. I am so comfortable in calling and texting just anybody but my family. Funny that we often don’t realize those things that we have unless we lost them. Being far from those people I love is not easy, but being so apathetic for the need of making myself felt is unjustifiable. The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them. The more time we give to something, the mor...

I decided to fast for 5 days and devote myself in 5 points (1 point each day). I was so excited to start my fast, eager to receive some words and revelations, but God came to me very “extraordinarily”. My first whole day of fast was so quiet. Hardly no word from God, not even a hint of His presence, nor an assurance that He’ll come to me and reveal to me those things that I am asking. Truly, God will be committed in purifying His people. He is more committed and willing to enter to a broken vessel and mold it to a new one. God exposed attitudes and characters to me in no way I could still hold on to it, nor retaliate. It’s not that easy for me as God removed all the inequities and wrong relationships in me. He made me realize His dealings and grace for me in the past 11 months of staying here. He spoke to me in a very gentle way. He reminded me on how I “first” became in love with Him. On how I “first” decided to be patient waiting for His will in my life, on how I “f...

Just as I wanted to know my remaining purpose of staying here in the island, God has been so quick in answering my prayers. There are these words I kept at the back of my mind on my 2 nd day of fasting. These words I received from a friend whom I really don’t expect I could talk to the night I was so broken. “If you think God will be glorified of you going back home, then do it. But If you think that God will be more glorified as you stay there despite of all the persecution and sufferings, I’d rather see you stay. “ Hearing such, God reminded me of the verse he gave me to hold on to before going here. (Jeremiah 1:17-19) He again assured me of His great purpose of having me as His representative in this place; That He is aware, long before I came here that I will experience such sufferings and persecution, abandonment and ripping off of things I used to cloth myself with as security pillars- my life group, disciples, position in the church, ministry and immediate Christian fr...