Living Life at 40 I hesitated to write this blog, but then I realized it has been a while since I last wrote. I used to journal a lot when I was in college. I had plenty of journals that, even up until now, continue to shape and guide me whenever I feel lost or wandering. Over time, I found a profound truth about myself: I am easily swayed and influenced. Because of this, I constantly remind myself that I need to be surrounded by the right influences. Yes, I can easily be pulled to extremes. It’s not that I don’t know what I want in life. Rather, I am easily amused and drawn to unexplored ideas and adventures. My emotion-driven self is not always to be trusted. I just turned 40 last week. Rest assured, this will not be a full account of my 40 years of existence. Instead, this is a long reflection but one I hope to revisit someday, and one I want to include among the many online journals I wish to share. GRATITUDE. We attended my brother’s graduation this month, where my sister (who...
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Motives
(From Unpublished draft December 2017) My husband and I talked about how I used to write and express myself through writing. I am surprised to know that he reads my blog since I only write to put together the thoughts I want to organize and share with others. I am on a social media fast today that will extend for a week to be able to detox on daily musings. I used to post consistently, if not almost daily. There were times that I feel like my time is stolen from me spending my time posting instead of just enjoying the posts “reality”. Makes me wonder on my motives on posting, then I realized that posting feeds my insecurity and hunger for self-validation. This should not be my ultimate goal, I was reminded. Now moving forward, I would like to be more accountable with my motives - because oftentimes we neglect the gravity of having pure thoughts and pure intentions that should reflect in our actions. Speaking of pure motives, thoughts and actions - guards down, we could easil...
Borrowed Time.
(From Unpublished draft January 23, 2019) I feel like I am living on borrowed time. Only last week that we found out that our baby has not developed fully, his condition is way worse than what we have expected from the onset our doctor told us there is something that should not be there. We were told he is not going to make it to fully complete full term pregnancy. In case he makes it (which is unlikely), he would not even last longer than we would prefer and may even suffer by being born. We were told to wait for our baby’s heart to fully stop or naturally have miscarriage. In short, we are to painfully live each day and wait on when can we finally move on. I guess that is the best way I can describe my situation without really going into each details. To go through about the entire ordeal again is just painfu. I am still in unexplainable pain and grief. We have heard stories of miscarriage but having something to know about it even before it happens it takes yo...
Work in Progress.
Today marks my 3*st birthday and as I celebrate it, I can't help but remember how God has brought me this far and continually bringing me further. As I start another year, I pray that like King David in 2 Samuel 7:18-29, I (together with my family) would be able to live a life not leaving God's sight. 18 Then King David went in and sat before the Lord , and he said: “Who am I, Sovereign Lord , and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? 19 And as if this were not enough in your sight, Sovereign Lord , you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant—and this decree, Sovereign Lord , is for a mere human! [ c ] 20 “What more can David say to you? For you know your servant, Sovereign Lord . 21 For the sake of your word and according to your will, you have done this great thing and made it known to your servant. 22 “How...
Living Truths
I have started so many offline drafts, but this one I hope I could publish. Note that it has been about two years since my last blog post. *** Last February 5, my husband and I experienced something far worse than other medical challenges we have had being married for almost 5 years. I am writing on this blog some points that I have learned which would serve as a reminder and a marker on how God has been faithful to us during this difficult situation. If you are interested to know, just continue reading below. 1. When faced with challenges, WORRY makes things worse. JUST PRAY. My husband was brought to the ER last Sunday (February 05) when he almost collapsed at home, half of his is face swelling. I witnessed how he panicked and fought the feeling of collapsing when he started to slowly lose his vision. He was shivering with both hands up as if he was drowning. I was hysterically crying when I was dialing my mother in law's number so I can ask for help bringi...
Little Andi.
Dear Precious Little Girl, The feeling of great anticipation placed to sudden waiting broke mommy's heart big time today. :( But it also made me realized that you, precious one is ALREADY WORTH WAITING FOR as early as now. This waiting game can make me wait longer but I won't mind because you are so precious to us. Take your time and never hurry for you deserve to be waited little princess. We are trusting God's purpose, wisdom and timing and so we will patiently wait. Love, Mommy
Freedom in His Unconditional Love.
But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ. (Romans 3:21-24 MSG)