One Sunday Hosting

One Sunday Hosting. :)

I was asked to host the 5pm Sunday service in Ubelt. I am glad that i was able to pull myself off in making them feel comfortable.


Watch this.

I Will Only Live For A Day

Whenever I feel something that could affect my mood or focus, I used to encourage myself by thinking that I will only live for A DAY. 

I will only live a day, not because Im dying or something, but because I know that I will only bear with whatever it is I have today, "for A DAY!" That I would only have to battle with it (anything) until I close my eyes and sleep. 


Meaning, Everything, will only last for a day. 

Like the Psalmist, when He exclaimed,
"This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalms 118:24
So when I feel...

Pain.
It'll be alright.
I will sleep anyways.
Tomorrow, either the feeling is gone or I am tougher.

Tempted.
It'll be alright.
I will sleep anyways.
Tomorrow, either I'm faster to flee from it, or the devil is already tired to stand me just ignoring it. 

Great Want (Missing).
It'll be alright.
I will sleep anyways.
Tomorrow, either I am more patient than today or I will find an antidote for it.

Worried.
It'll be alright.
I will sleep anyways.
Tomorrow? haha.. Let tomorrow worry about itself! -Matthew 6:34

Everything that has to be won is a day-by-day battle. Let us try not to live our lives in a hurry wanting to have everything today. And living for a day is how we should measure it. 

I am thankful that I do not have EVERYTHING, for I also do not have those things that I DO NOT WANT.

I am thankful that I do not have everything I wanted TODAY. For i'll have no more reason to live-up my life tomorrow.

Therefore, "I WILL LIVE ONLY FOR A DAY!"

Purposeful Starvation.

The word "fasting" could sound really scary to most Christians. I myself have been guilty of being at the state of doing it as an obligation in order for me to sustain a "holier- than-thou-should-be" lifestyle before. To me, it was just merely starving myself to "ask God" for something. Or probably an act of "self-denial" so to say I could be "closer" to God and in the end "manipulate" Him to act on what I will.

Until I found myself dealing with this matter from "duty to delight".

Now, I could clearly define fasting as a "purposeful wait on God".

Strong's Exhaustive Concordance, p. 820, says the word "purpose" means "to choose for oneself, before another thing (prefer), i.e. (by impl.) to propose (intend)." To purpose therefore is to be "willingly pre-determined"

Fasting has to do with being WILLING. Willing to HEAR from God not just to speak.

Fasting has something to do with being SURE. Having the faith that He'll come and meet us and His Presence be felt.

Fasting has to do with CHOOSING. Choosing Him above ALL else that matters. It's elevating Him "second to none". It's offering ourselves WHOLLY...

without asking anything in return...

(Edit: I am now enjoying my 5 days of "Purposeful Waiting". :D)

Love Beyond Reason

God,

I'm Glad you have willed that our relationship may be put into another level. Thank you tht you've put my security and confidence in you and not on the things I do.

THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME BEYOND REASON!

--- Truly, There's nothing compared to this love that has found me.

A love that's beyond reason
A love that knows no record of wrong
A love that is able to keep us Complete

The only love that could UNDO things.
The love that gives us the confidence and security
. . . knowing that we are loved undividedly.
The love that casts all things ASIDE.
The love that we could always go BACK to.

A love that cleanses and HEALS.
A love that could mend a heart that FAILS.
A love that could make us HUMBLE.
A love that BREAKS yet MAKES US WHOLE.

The same love that had made us SURRENDER.
The same love that has proved us that LOOSING is GAINING.

No Heights, No Depths
No Power, No Love
No Things NOW or TO COME
Could separate US from THIS LOVE

.. A Love that was demonstrated at the CROSS.

"Your Love's NEVER ENDING, To Your hands we surrender, Where all our sins are washed away, Your grace beyond reason, Has paid for our Freedom, We're made alive in You!"

Captivated

As I was reading through the pages of the old love notes I've written for my lover, I found this. It is in my old journal. A promise of a eternity full of Love. Yes, again, it is Love.

Date: March 15, 2006
Place: No specified
Situation: Crushed and Broken

For the things of this world are not the things that I am;
For the power of this world is nothing compared to My might;
For everything in this world is a chasing after the wind

Your Name shines like Gold, more precious to me.
Your Law is like a Leaf of Green I love to see; Your Hand is Full of Security, Embraces me; Your Love is Unfailing forever I will see.

Though Your darkness may come forth to blind you;
Still I’ll be the light to shine on you;
For the world will never take Me away from you;
I’ve seen you and I’ll keep you.
Never will they hurt you again
Forever you will be blessed
Come to Me and drink My cup
Be refreshed for I am who I am

Look, the days of my youth may perish
And I am afraid for things are getting menace I want to see Your face and forever be amazed For You are my ever breath!

I promise you forever, forever in My arms
I promise you forever, forever in My eyes
I promise you Now, More than ever..
I will speak My words to you and You will be blessed!

Go child, continue to stand up for Me
For I am delighted in you and your faith in Me
Never will I put you to shame
Never will I make you mocked
For you are the one I love, the Apple of my Eyes,
The One I will love Forever!

Even then,,He already saw me..

Love and Letting Go

When it comes to love. We hardly find ourselves either winning or loosing. But either way, we must understand love and it's real definition.

Someone told me that ¨Being in love, in a relationship, it´s just a different reality; not necessarily a better reality (compared to being alone), but just a different one.¨

I didn't agree. I still don't.

Another one told me, ¨You should only be with someone, if being in love with that person makes you happier than when you are alone.¨ Words I agreed more.

If I followed the words of the former, I would be easily satisfied. Because the expectations from a loving relationship would be not much different from a life alone.

Unfortunately, my vision of love is closer to the latter. Hence, I'm more demanding in love. I didn't need someone to make me happy, being alone with God is satisfying enough for me. But if falling in love could make me happier; it is something I cannot control; His happiness will become more important than mine..then love continues.
Love that would drive me to satisfy the other. Naturally; passionately; unrelenting; without holding back; that could make his happiness more important than mine. His priorities higher than mine.

But somehow or rather, love eventually fails. Blameless, we move on with our own lives. In this sense, love becomes like just another part of reality that is no different from the reality of being alone.

But I wonder; How could an emotion so powerful, so compelling, be at the same time so fragile?

Letting Go when love fails ..

As no one is more responsible than the other when love arises, no one is more to be blamed when it dies; it is what it is.

Instead of remaining bitter and assign blame to the other when love dies, it is better to hold on to the good things that happened between each other in the name of love, and continue to let oneself evolve; continue to let good things happen in the name of love.

What's more, it's the hurt and disappointments in life that teaches us the most.

Letting go of a very compelling love, truest to its form but untimely..


It's excruciating. It's agonizing. I compared it to having the Isaac of our lives laid and offered to God. A burnt offering with an aroma that says, "God, I love you more than me. I love you more than this." It is having our faith work as we wait.

The bible teaches us not to awaken love until it so desires. The fear of loosing it shall not be magnified. True love doesnt have to fear, for perfect love drives away fear.

The sweetest part of it, is about us learning to TRUST. Us learning to hope. Us learning to have God's way in us. Us finding love to it's truest form. A love that captures is a love that is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Assuming

I was once told by a friend in Boracay that to ASSUME is to associate "Ass" to "u" and "me". (Thanks Daley)

Hey, please don't get me wrong. I've reposted blogs about defrauding, however, there's another thing that saddened me just this day. It's the fact that most relationships among friends are being ruined by too much assuming.

Frankly, I am affected by how many friendships have been mislead by merely "assuming" things.

Guys, us gurls just love to take care of everything. If you are with us, expect to be taken cared of. It's our way of expressing our very nature.

Dont mind if we offer things or show our care! It could be small or big acts like giving you a glass of water to giving you gifts; whether lending you a towel to lending our unused big clothes if you are sweating; or from a simple invitation to eat out to being invited to our house if we prepared something. These things are really US. It's who we are. It's how we we're made. We simply love doing it. Besides, we wouldn't initiate to invite you if we like you anyways! Remember, it's your job to do it not ours. I still believe that friendship goes beyond being there and hearing us. Service comes into it, from us or to us.

So please, before you assume, evaluate or simply check things first. If we are like this to ALL our BOY friends, then heck WE DON'T LIKE YOU! Just don't go ahead of things and assume.

Girls, same goes to us. We should check our actions and our motives as well. I know that no matter what, our sweetness would always show, but it may be misunderstood. We have to be careful and responsible in our actions as to not mislead guys. It's our resposibility to protect them...and lastly, it's our responsibility to protect our hearts.

To You.

I'm a...romanticist at a distance,
only seeing never touching, watching thee.
Time betrays me as it slays me, I exacerbate my condition.
Not quite feeling, thoughts I'm stealing, dreaming thee.
I arrange some possibilities, they disolve into obscurity.
I'm a pilgrim in a landscape only talked about in passing,
barely moving, always reaching, wanting thee.

As I look at thine eyes..
Thou hath not seen my existence
Lest faith turn to despair.
Do I have to bleed, to make thy heart understand?
Do I have to continue to suffer?
Oh how would thee realize? For Thou hast life is thou lovest thee!

Defining Faith

Faith

How do I write this without breaking down, or my eyes filling with tears? *sigh* (((*thinking* - Oh my God only YOU know...")))

Ichie described me one time as a person who clings on God's leg like a kid that is sooo afraid. I know I have a lot of fear..Well, probably because I hardly take risk and that I live in this fairy land I called "Nyeism".

When something tragic happens, it is incomprehensible. We cannot wrap our minds around it and we just don't understand. In our hearts & minds, we naturally ask '..WHY??'. It is during times like this, most of us or some of us struggle with our unbelief. 'The valley' challenges our faith in God. But His PEACE, that is, the Peace of God, allows us to be in a place where His love & mercy covers us, wraps us up and keeps us. It does not mean, we do not grieve or we do not cry. But there comes a point where we have to pick ourselves up...for life's sake, we MUST! It's easier said than done isn't it?

But,as hard as it is, FAITH in God vs. FEAR is it. HOLD ON to Him & His Word. And His grace will uphold, comfort and sustain you in your time of troubles.

"The Peace of God surpasses ALL understanding."

HAVING FAITH

Having faith is holding onto something when everyone else has given up!

Having faith is learning to put your trust in God, despite the situation and looking neither left nor right, nor giving heed to negativity!

Having faith means believing that which is unattainable!

Having faith means believing in that which is impossible!

Having faith is believing FIRST, then seeing SECOND!

Having faith is rising ABOVE the situation, rather than letting the situation rise above YOU!

Having faith is not depending on the senses to determine it's REAL.

Having faith is seeing the FUTURE and what's up ahead...

Having faith is simply B E L I E V I N G

Logic Vs. Quiet Time

Some days in my quiet time with God, I find myself in conversation.....the deepest conversation.

I love my mornings with the Lord because after, I always feel like I've been refreshed, assured and refuelled to go out and face the world. I find that His Word often and always edifies my spirit and I've been 'armoured up' to face whatever comes at me. In other words, I'm set for the rest of the day. I know within myself, if I haven't made that time to spend with the Lord, the rest of my day doesn't 'flow'. And boy does that show sometimes! Hey, I'm human, so I have my moments yannooo!  (Praising God for the moments! hehee*)

The beauty of being in relationship with Christ and spiritually 'walking' with Him every day, is knowing He is for me when everyone is against me. It gives me peace knowing who I can put my trust in & I have come to know that when I do just that (put my trust in Jesus), His Peace surpasses the craziness that surrounds me. His love & forgiveness enables me to embrace personalities that rub me up the wrong way and His grace that abounds in me, gives me the power to reject and nullify words spoken in negativity to discourage me or hurt me. Believe, being in His presence for me is just the BEST thing.

No matter how much we do or say to make sense and/or logic of things, the one true and sure factor is Jesus! The person that counts in the end is God. He knows my coming in, and my going out. Logic (ie., the mind of 'man') will say it's not possible because of how many factors. God has always said, YES IT IS! Logic will always say, well the time has come and gone, you've missed your chance. God has always said, 'MY TIMING IS PERFECT'...

Logic will work things out so that they always make sense. God's ways are not our ways and He can put whatever He wants together if it's right in Him. And usually, these are the things that people think are impossible, and unheard of to the mind of man and woman. It doesn't matter how many times we as people, in our human sense of understanding say and do things to convince ourselves that 'this is the RIGHT way', when God is at the center of everything you do, all things flow in accordance to His perfect time and His perfect plan. It doesn't mean, we forsake wisdom or caution either. That's foolishness. But when we chose to have that deeper relationship with the Lord, we in turn grow to become spiritually alert to discern where He's directing us. Then we are assured that what He says goes! And He will always confirm things for you. 


Every time I have my confirmation of what the Lord is saying to me, I take hold of it, stand on it in faith, and run with it! Even when I can't see entirely what's up ahead, faith becomes my fuel. So, I choose to look neither left nor right to distractions, I choose to pay no attention to everything else, but instead keep my eyes on Jesus and what He's shown me, and all will be fine. When God puts a plan together it will always be, so that He is glorified in the end! If He's said it, I believe it, and that settles it! Amen.

Lover

Now, I find Life in everything. Every work I am entitled to do, I find life in it. I enjoyed my fast. Up to this last day, I feel so in love with Him. So sold out in everything about Him.

“I Want To Fall In love With You”

Jars of Clay

In open fields of wild flowers,
she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"
"my heart beats for You"

Prayer Focus:

God- Lover of my Soul

Rest

A lot of times we go ahead of God. We carry out His purpose in our lives with complete zeal and passion yet still feel like we miss out His purpose ending up so tired of chasing an endless void.

Passion and zeal is not enough. It needs wisdom to achieve a harmonious result. Sometimes, we need to be still and at rest in order for us to be sensitive of God’s leading.

It is not always a “go”.

In chess, one takes time to think in order to make an offensive move. In basketball, there is what we call “time-out” to strategize. In music, we have what we call “Rest Note” in order to make a better melody. In Capoeira, there is what they call “chamada” in order for them to rest while they trick the opponent’s side.

So sweet that God is also the author of Rest. That he doesn’t expect us to be always on the go.

During my first day of fast, he required complete silence and stillness. He asked me to rest, and be completely broken, before he allowed Himself to move.

When I surrendered my abilities, as strong or weak they might be, I chose to worship God in my silence.

Faith involves not only seeing the promises of God but moving from a point of pleading to a point praising.

Isaiah 42:16

“ I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, then crooked places straight. These things I will do before them and not forsake them.”

Prayer Focus:

God’s Leading

Time

“Time”

“Time is something that you have yet you don’t have, you give it to people that matters to you”

I’ve been hearing myself quoting the above phrase more often whenever I’m begging for time from people I wanted to ask time for. I noticed that I’ve wanted time and attention more often from people I wanted to earn time from, but hardly get it from them. Then I threw the question back to me and asked myself “Am I being a good steward of time?”

Then slowly, I grabbed my pillow, hugged it tight and then repented of how I often neglect those people that I should spend time with. I am so comfortable in calling and texting just anybody but my family.

Funny that we often don’t realize those things that we have unless we lost them. Being far from those people I love is not easy, but being so apathetic for the need of making myself felt is unjustifiable.

The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them. The more time we give to something, the more we reveal it’s value and importance to us.

1 John 3:18

“Dear Children, Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”

Galatians 6:10

“Therefore, as we have the opportunity, let us do good to all people…”

Prayer Focus:

Relationship

Brokenness

I decided to fast for 5 days and devote myself in 5 points (1 point each day).

I was so excited to start my fast, eager to receive some words and revelations, but God came to me very “extraordinarily”.

My first whole day of fast was so quiet. Hardly no word from God, not even a hint of His presence, nor an assurance that He’ll come to me and reveal to me those things that I am asking.

Truly, God will be committed in purifying His people. He is more committed and willing to enter to a broken vessel and mold it to a new one.

God exposed attitudes and characters to me in no way I could still hold on to it, nor retaliate.

It’s not that easy for me as God removed all the inequities and wrong relationships in me. He made me realize His dealings and grace for me in the past 11 months of staying here.

He spoke to me in a very gentle way. He reminded me on how I “first” became in love with Him. On how I “first” decided to be patient waiting for His will in my life, on how I “first” established myself in faith and how I “first” entrusted my emotions to Him, my success and my life apart from my own abilities.

I found God so faithful and patient in reminding me of the things I completely trusted Him before. So clear….so fresh as they seem before..

Then there after, after having myself broken before Him, cleansing and restoration came, then uncontainable revelations upon revelations filled my fasting.

Philippians 2:13

“For it is God who works for in you to will and act according to His good purpose.”

Philippians 2: 15

“..So that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the Universe.”

Prayer Focus:

Characters and Attitudes

Desperation

Just as I wanted to know my remaining purpose of staying here in the island, God has been so quick in answering my prayers.

There are these words I kept at the back of my mind on my 2^nd day of fasting. These words I received from a friend whom I really don’t expect I could talk to the night I was so broken.

“If you think God will be glorified of you going back home, then do it. But If you think that God will be more glorified as you stay there despite of all the persecution and sufferings, I’d rather see you stay. “

Hearing such, God reminded me of the verse he gave me to hold on to before going here. (Jeremiah 1:17-19)

He again assured me of His great purpose of having me as His representative in this place; That He is aware, long before I came here that I will experience such sufferings and persecution, abandonment and ripping off of things I used to cloth myself with as security pillars- my life group, disciples, position in the church, ministry and immediate Christian friends, leaving only one thing in me, my relationship with Him. God reminded me that I am bound to overcome.

I am so fond of telling people, “How desperate (badly) you need/want it?”

Now, having sold out on my purpose, the only question is how desperate I am? How desperate I am to want/see change in the lives of those people I am with in this place? How desperate I am in wanting to let them experience God in their lives as well? How desperate I am in being an example? How desperate I am to glorify God despite all the hurts and pain of being far from a comfort zone?

“God has more in our lives than simply blessing us. It is His purpose, beyond His fellowship in us, beyond our personal needs.”

Psalms 32: 8

“ I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel and watch over you.”

Prayer Focus:

Purpose

Letting Go

September 25, 2007

Letting Go Letting go is never easy.

It requires great courage; for the things we let go are normally the things that are precious and “irreplaceable”. Who would have a hard time letting go of things that are not important to them anyways?

Letting go of a thing is sometimes bearable, for it could be replaced by small little joys that could fill in the void of that big thing that was gone.

But more than anything, the hardest is letting go of a loved one. Of a person who used to be your “happy thought”. Who used to make you smile, used to give you a deeper value and importance, who used to make you sing and who used to make your heart beats faster and faster by just being themselves.

Letting go is a choice.

It is a choice of whether we will allow ourselves to mature by the pains brought by the selfless act or be “at risk” of having ourselves carried on the upheavals of our emotions by being so attached.

Letting go involves the idea of having our “Mind rule over matters”, “Wisdom rule over Emotions” and having ourselves appreciate a person/thing WITHOUT elevating him/her/it above God in our lives.

Letting go is helpful in taking the risk/ probability of “abusing the harmless things”. For no matter how beneficial or INNOCENT something may be, when asked too much of it, could cause harm to us and to others.

When we learn to let go, we will undergo a very painful process, but no matter how broken we are we could be assured of a very rewarding result of its “art”.

Letting go- it is when we need to trust God more in bringing back that precious and irreplaceable thing/person again. It is trusting Him to bring us to the maturity level that we should be having, and it allow us to bring ourselves to that undivided heart and attention for Him that is expected in us. (Psalms 86:11)

Letting go entails the “risk of loosing”. We may be afraid of facing the struggles of our longingness for it; however, if we could fully trust God that He knows everything and He doesn’t just view our plight from a distance, we would be secured enough.

One thing I would like to emphasize is that, “God knew our desires and he is capable of fulfilling it in order for us to be happy.”

For this cause, we could now be at rest in His presence, being fully secured; we could be at REST for HIS BEST, (1 John 4:18).. for LOVE protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:7)

True Beauty

Sept.12, 2007

Wonderin’….

Could there be a hope to maintain purity and faith in a place of such darkness and intrigue? When the doors of the world closed behind, it’s that painful and heartbreaking.

Then Brokenness will follow.
Yet, soon the awareness of the reservoirs of inner strength was revealed, from that moment, everyone knew it was different. Even people from the world believed.

Although the world had been surrounded by beauty for years, the beauty that it had never seen before should arise. It should show itself and it should leave a legacy. Beauty that is far deeper than any lovely face and gorgeous form. It is that beauty that is filled with peace and tranquility that nothing seemed to bother.

Unlike the petty, jealous, insecure beauties who usually surround the world. The beauty that is humble, forgiving, and always ready to serve would be above all. Beauty that is courageous to resist the otherworldly charms. The beauty with joy that is contagious; the beauty that could lift the spirits of everyone around.

“Yes,” The world said to himself, “this is what we need”. In its arrogance, though it tried, the world knew that the humility and innocence this beauty has, is exactly what it needed. Therefore, it’s determined to do whatever it takes to steal that testimony from it.
But it’s the same God who had been with this beauty at home, is also the one with it in the darkness of the world.

But when this beauty decided to let go and let God fight this battle to maintain the purity and innocence in it, though at the risk of loosing such reputation; it risked.

Then found mercy and grace, holding on to the only things that matters, the relationship it has with its Creator.

Then surprisingly, this beauty overcame and still overcoming, BY GRACE OF GOD ALONE. Favors upon favors... How could this beauty that had been raised in the purity and innocence back home gained such favor in the eyes of the world who tried to destroy it?

This had nothing to do with its preference or any attributes; the world is filled with beauties that are equal to it in natural beauty. However, the secret to its universal acceptance lay in the fact that it had an inner beauty which no one in the world had ever seen before.
The secret to God’s favor is His character.
As the character of Christ is formed in your life, it releases a winsomeness and magnetism which much of the world will find irresistible.

“It should be no different. No matter where God has placed you, He is well able to give you the same kind of favor you experienced before. Before you can fully walk in this favor, however, you must understand it. In Proverbs 3:3, 4 we find if a person walks in love and faithfulness, they will win favor in the sight of both God and man. “